“I am scared dear, please do not turn off the light!”
“Do not leave me in the dark!”
As in the lives of most people, there has been always a precious guide who teaches them how to speak, crawl, walk or how to fight or survive from the first time seeing their unique smiling eyes. Mothers, who are adored in childhood, whose ideas or suggestions are not considered in puberty, and finally whose value is recognized late even after they died. Each mother is glorious and priceless for each one, and everyone wishes for living happily forever with their mother as long as it is possible, yet there are mothers who were passed away young like my mother. She was extremely strong as herculean with her muscular arms and with her tiny eyes with which she could perceive everything done her back, disciplined in any subject, sympathetic, self-educated, and sometimes conservative due to upbringing in countryside. There was great interaction between us every time, and we were like a legendary mother-daughter among others around us. There are numerous personal features she taught me such as being determined, industrious, victorious which makes me Melike. They are nonesuch instructors in the world anyone can see ever.
All mothers are powerful like She Hulk and sharped-eyed that makes all children feared when she looks at without saying anything, are not they? Similarly, my beloved mother was really strong woman as herculean as she had to do all domestic responsibilities by herself. She, for instance, used to carry huge furniture while traditional winter, spring or bairam cleaning, used to tool adjustable wrench like a plumber. It was incredible how she could do all kinds of housework which needed an effort although she was only a hundred-fifty centimetre. As she was strong, she was able to see everything with her tiny blackest eyes which is in harmony with her light skinned round face. Undoubtedly, every child could see a fire in their mothers’ eyes without any speech when they were doing something undesired. With her tiny sharp-eyed, she used to sense everything around her without looking and make us feared only by looking. She, for instance, used to know what her children were doing in the kitchen while she was in balcony and used to warn such as ‘Close the fridge!’ or used to look angrily when we did something wrong and called us but with a soft voice, “Come my sweety! Who is in the world can be such as talented and prescient as well as our mothers?
To raise up a child is the hardest duty ever that especially mothers have to complete successfully, yet sometimes cannot be completed. Being a good mother is related with having a good character, as well. In other words, even if it is not possible to have a good education every time, improving themselves is crucial in terms of mothers who wish good future for their children. For instance, she was so self-educated despite lacking rights to education. I used to buy all books that she wanted to read every week, and we used to analyse the books we read drawlingly. It is the fact that she had to drop out of high school at age eleven is heart-breaking for any mother who used to read whenever she had time. Additionally, every mother is separated from another one in terms of characteristic features as they are brought up in different cultures in their childhood. Living in countryside, for instance, affected my mother physically as well as personally. She was so disciplined for fear of my grandmother’s exasperation while she was young. So, her mother was disciplined, my mother was the same. For instance, everything was in order such as shower time, dinner or bedtime even bairam cleaning was, and we knew that without every corner was cleaned at home, there was no sleep for us unfortunately. Besides being disciplined, she was also conservative in which attitude she used to make us crazy. To set an example, she was always complaining about our way of dressing and never used to let us what we wanted to wear. Killingly, she used to ask what we did or where we went or what we talked about with our boyfriends when we went out with them. It was impossible to hide that we have boyfriends from her because if she learns before we confess, it means that we sign our own death warrant! According to herself, she was so sympathetic mother because of letting us to go out with guys. Joking aside, all mothers can be very sympathetic as well as my mother.
Teaching something considerable or leaving something valuable in minds of children in the name of personalising means that there are unforgettable recollections betwixt mothers and their children. Like many others, while she was educating me, both we had countless arguments sometimes crushingly, and reconciliations, sometimes tearily. As everybody knows that any growing comes into a view painless. She made me determined, industrious, victorious girl who never gives up fighting at all costs. There are millions of memories with her, yet her last three months before her death was the worst times in my mind as she became paralyzed at her age fifty-three, in the dead of winter. Because her capability to sense everything, she was behaving as if she knew that she was going to die in the near future. She never ate, never did any attempt to move any organs. It was really sorrowful for us. Although, she had no fear about death, on last few days she was afraid of the dark and never slept until the sun rises. Her voice is in my mind now saying; ‘Do not turn the light off, do not leave me in the dark. I am afraid!’. How could it be possible a woman like a tiger can make a sentence one of the mentioned above? Whoever could know her better than me! She was my idol from the time I said ‘Mommy’ first. Except for two years, we were all together sometimes laughing, sometimes crying. It is the fact that being her daughter in this world is honourable.
So, they are such awesome instructors, they can overcome with their steady souls even if being a mother is extremely hard mission to complete in any case. A mother should be powerful, disciplined, sometimes conservative and much sympathetic as my mother from my perspective. Now, we are at the seashore and listening her favourite song ‘Cufflinks’ from Barıs Manco, I can see her black wavy hair was blowing with wind, and she hugs me tightly with her strong arms in the eternal. If anyone asks me what was the most memorable time we had, I am thinking of the times when she used to comb my hair for hours by telling fairy tales, even I was thirty years old, she used to comb my hair like I was her little daughter. She is inexpressible in point of my view! I am thankful for what she taught me. I wish all mothers could be deathless. When she comes into my mind, I always say these verses that Ahmed Arif said:
“Your absence is the other name of hell
I am cold!
Don’t close your eyes!”
Melike Çelik
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