Man is born, lives and dies. The order of the universe was determined billions of years ago by an almighty creator. It is said that ‘Loneliness is peculiar to only God’. It was so. Many people have been looking for their other half for years to live happily, peacefully, yet some of them found their soulmates, some of them have not found like me. I thought that I found twice, but I failed. I had experienced many tragic events but the story that I will tell was a milestone in my life and I learned many vital lessons from this incident. It was the worst day ever in my life and it is necessary that I tell some incidents how I did the tragic flaw like the protagonists do in Greek tragedies because of their obsessions. After a painful and tiring divorce challenge at the court in İzmir Courthouse in 2009, I was able to gain my daughter’s custody at the end, and I was extremely exhausted. As I resigned from my job due to my pregnancy eight months ago, I had to move to my family home. After a few months in resting, it was necessary for me to find a job both to reconsider the events and to make economic contribution for my family income. Working or being busy with anything else makes people relax and does not let them think sorrowful memories. As I had a lot of unpleasant problems with my ex-husband, I moved to Fethiye with my family in 2009. Having changed many jobs in six years in İzmir and Fethiye, with a sudden decision, we moved to Ankara in 2012. I found a job as an accountant in a company and I left my six-years old daughter to my mother again.
After three months in company, there was a wedding ceremony one of my colleagues and I was invited with my daughter to the ceremony. I bumped into Ali who worked in my company and left the job after ten days I started. He was really handsome with his blue eyes and blond hair, but after age thirty being handsome is not the first criteria, yet creditability is more important. Anyway, we shot the breeze about life and common things during the ceremony and it took my attention that he extremely showed interest in my daughter. His eyes were woeful while he was talking to my daughter. When I asked him why he was sad while looking at my daughter’s eyes, he told me that he had been divorced and he had a daughter too, but he had not seen her for three years. After this conversation we talked until the ceremony finished and he wanted me to give my number to him while we were leaving the ceremony that night. He started to call me whenever he had time, and in a month, he proposed to marry me. All my relatives expected me to find a good father for my daughter and they were constantly saying ‘Loneliness is peculiar to only God’. To be honest, loneliness was very hard, and I wanted to open my heart to someone that I found close enough.
Everything developed like greased lightning and we married in 14thDecember 2013. A few months later, in April, I asked him to give his salary to me in order to pay the rent and other necessities like electricity bill or for shopping but he was persistently saying that the company he worked had not given the salary yet. When I went to my company, I decided to call his company to ask what the problem was. The man I talked on the telephone told me that Ali had not come to work for 20 days and there was no salary he entitled. I was shocked and did not know what to do at first. My colleagues made me calm and gave some advices not to have any argument at home. When I went home, I told him that I called his company and learned his lies. He went on telling lies incomprehensibly, but I had to be calm as I did not want my daughter to witness any fight. We were a newly-wed couple with many debts to many furniture companies at that time. I borrowed money from my company and paid the monthly debts, but it was very shameful to ask for money at all. One day, I borrowed money from one of my colleagues to pay a bill and I ended up home. By the way, Ali had started a new job and he wanted me to give him some money to buy a pack of cigarettes. Suddenly, I got crazy and did not want to give him any money. The following morning, he kissed me and went to work. I got ready to catch the service and took my purse. I checked the money I borrowed yesterday but it was not there. Fumingly, I called him to come home immediately and give the money back. He came and he slandered my six-years-old daughter and kept telling lies. It was the last toleration and I told him that I wanted to divorce. When I said that sentence, he tried to strangle me with the iron’s cable. While I was struggling with him and trying to save my life, the lower rib of my chest was broken and after he realized the noise, he stopped and said: What did I do?
Like a psychopath, he started to cry and told me that he did not want to divorce. I was extremely scared but trying to be smart not to die. He did not let me go and took my telephone. I told him that my chest was broken, and I needed to see a doctor and requested him to call the ambulance as soon as possible. I was on the ground and he was crying by holding my hands, I was in pain. With making extreme effort I could convince him let me go. He gave my telephone and I called my colleagues to take me from my home. Finally, they arrived in my home and took me hospital to have an x-ray and cleaned my all of face and neck because there was also blood in my neck because of the cable. At the same day, I gave evidence against Ali to the hospital police and they took Ali from home. Luckily, my little daughter was in kindergarten and she did not witness this incident. After all these, he followed me almost three months and wanted me to forgive him, but I refused. Almost a year, I lived with my daughter in fear. One of our mutual friends took him to Antalya and he got married again after we divorced. I did not go back to my family home once again and earned my living by myself. Even though there was huge debt to be paid, I was able to pay all the debts in time. After five years challenging, my dreams come true. By the way, my mother passed away, I resigned from the job and started to give English lessons to the students at home. Having learned that the education system changed, I entered Ordu University when I am fourty years old.
What I learned from all these incidents, I realized how powerful woman I am, how crusader mother I am. I learned not to act without thinking twice, emotions direct people to make wrong decisions, not to take any of my relative’s thought into consideration when the subject is my life and not to trust anybody but me. There are many lessons that I learnt, and I cannot mention all of them here. These flaws made me much stronger than before. I do not believe people who say ‘Loneliness is peculiar to only God’ now. Being alone is my close friend even if I sometimes croon the words of the song Sezen Aksu says “Lonely Slaves”
My God do not leave your slaves alone!
Only you can bare the loneliness.
Protect us without caring our beauty,
And give all of us a suitable husband!
Melike Çelik
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